It’s important to set goals. You don’t have to accomplish them or anything like that. Just set them.
If you put your face really close to a neck tattoo & slowly pull away, you can see a hidden design of the unemployment office.
You Might Also Like
dentist: today we’re going to do dental impressions
me: ok, tOdAY wE’Re GoiNg tO Do DEnTaL IMprEsSioNs
dentist: haha, i mean of your teeth
dentist: [crying to hygienist] do i really sound like that
Donald Trump always looks like he’s just opened a really hot oven.
My college girlfriend texted me for the first time in 10 years this weekend and I’m 1 million percent sure this is Adele’s fault
Nobody ever told me that this was an option.
INTERVIEWER: So, do you have any questions for me?
ME: What’s the Wi-Fi password?
I: About the job
M: What is the company Wi-fi password?
My late grandpa may not have had much as a simple circus clown, but he sure left some big shoes to Phil
I just poured a bowl of cereal and we’re out of milk. Cooking is hard.
I was worried that Tim Kaine was too boring and then I remembered entertainment is what got us into this mess.
Police Chief: Big Bruiser copy?
Big Bruiser: copy
Police Chief: Killdozer u copy?
Killdozer: all ears
Police Chief: *sighs* Mighty ThunderNards u copy?
Me: omg omg copy, I’m so glad we could pick our own names