@TragicAllyHere: If you run into an ex, impress them by pulling out a pocketwatch and saying “I should get back to my factory. I own a factory now.” Start puffing on a big cigar, you’re a fat cat now.
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@ddsmidt: Most people like a little something to remember you by. Skidmarks going out of the driveway isn't one of those things.
@jessokfine: If I were the tooth fairy I wouldn't leave any cash, just a note that says I'VE TAKEN YOUR TEETH
@notalogin: Me: You should know I'm alliterate Her: You mean illiterate? Me: No, not necessessfully