Me: It’s going to be a great day!
Life: Yeah, about that…
If you see a dog locked in a car on a hot day, it’s legal to teach it how to hotwire the vehicle and drive off in search of a better life.
You Might Also Like
By the time I catch up with a joke format, I’m like a baker trying to sell yesterday’s doughnuts.
Remember kids, you only burn in hell if you are religious.
I saw some felted wool animals I liked, but if you think I’m paying $200 for felted wool animals, you’ve got felted wool rocks in your head.
OMG I BOUGHT A MASK AND A GUN AND NOW EVERYTHING IS FREE
*6yo comes out with dripping wet face*
Me: what did you do?
6: my brother dared me to dip my face in the toilet water
When my husband annoys me I like to say, “The doctor said I need to lose 10 pounds. What do you think?”
I hope they boil the right one.
you are not alone. theres bugs