@bighandsmassuer: If you send her a message and she doesn't reply in six months she is probably thinking about it
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@3sunzzz: No thank you free mattress on the side of the road, I prefer to get my crabs the old fashioned way, by sleeping with complete strangers.
@JohnnyCrash5: Friend: How come you didn't come to my babyshower? Me: Oh I'm sorry but I passed away.
@DomesticGoddss: Doing United States puzzle with 7 when he tells me that "Alabama should be called Mr. Sippi since it's next to Mrs. Sippi."
@BrdnHatesYou: *beats arachnophobia* *trips over child dressed as Spider-Man* *fears spiders again*