@Black__Elvis: If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer you're going to jail.
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@rikpayne: People who say "Money doesn't grow on trees" don't understand the paper making process.
@sarcasticmommy4: Summer vacation with my kids is just me asking, “Have you brushed your teeth today?”
@AbiWilks: Twitter is a cool place to have friendly, open conversations with a small group of people in front of hundreds of online enemies who're watching intently for you to make some sort of screenshottable error
@Rlpihl: u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn't shower? Moses. hi i'm your new youth pastor Keith