Pouring water on someone’s head to promote something is kinda weird. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s go baptize some babies.
If you stop at a yellow light I’m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
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“STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO”, I yell to my 5 year old.
*forces square peg into round hole
Round hole: wrong hole.
Where’s the gratification in tearing down another human being? It’s much easier to have heart, than walk w a self-inserted rod up your ASS.
Him: This is the best sand castle I’ve ever built!
Her: We’re gonna die in this desert aren’t we?
I started an organization for the ethical treatment of plants.
Because we shouldn’t eat the things that make oxygen.
Your move Vegans
Holmes: “I say, old bean, is that mud on your boots?” Watson: “No, shit, Sherlock”
Dammit, phone. It’s always been ‘this’ and never ‘thus.’ I’ve got clumsy sausage fingers, not a conclusion to my dissertation.
I have been vegan for 11 years, but I was pinched by a crab today, and I feel it is only fair that I be allowed to eat one (1) of them as retribution.
I love whoever made this.