Canadian Tinder users are 56% male, 44% female and 33% holding a fresh trout
If you take longer than 10 seconds at the hand dryer, I will wipe my hands on the back of your shirt.
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A movie where humans escape their fences and chase innocent, terrified dinosaurs.
Hydrate the goths. No government stands a chance against hydrated goths.
Me, in shorts and a t-shirt
7yo: Mom, why are you dressed all fancy?
If you can’t afford anal beads eat marbles and wait
My wife says I’m a clueless idiot.
I didn’t even know I had a wife.
Love spending a relaxing Sunday curled up with a good book as it sits next to me untouched while I scroll through twitter for three hours