@AsgardianRose: If you take your antidepressant prescription to the pharmacy in your wedding gown while sobbing incoherently, they will fill it instantly.
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@daemonic3: me: i'd like help with my taxes accountant: ok what state will you be filing them in? me: i'd say anxious accountant: no i mean what state have you lived in this year me: oh sorry, depressed
@murrman5: did your friends rob that bank? "I'll never talk" I forgot that you're prejudice against robbers "what?!? some of my best friends rob banks"
@InternetHippo: PARENTS: When someone offers you drugs, you say no! ME (going out into the world): I'm ready [literally no one offers me drugs ever]
@LostLettermen: In response to McDonald's pay with hugs campaign, Nationwide will allow you to pay for insurance with DEATH.