This Is total BULLSHIT! You can’t even find ACME anvils on ebay.
THIS IS WHY THE ALIENS DON’T TAKE US SERIOUSLY!
If you think a dragon is going to solve all your problems you’re probably right.
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I don’t care what bathroom you identify with. If you look under the stall you’re going to need a dentist.
Gen Z, Boomers, Millennials and Gen X
When my wife dressed up as Catwoman, I didn’t know it’d mean she’d quit her job, sleep 23 hrs a day and spend the other hour licking herself
And we’re still calling it auto “correct” because….
Stop, Drop, and Roll: A Beginners Guide to Bowling
DAD: I want a steak.
HER: Eat this chicken instead. It’s healthy.
DAD: No it isn’t. It’s dead.
Stop correcting my vodkabulary
My mom didn’t give a shit what my teachers names were, anytime she had to write a letter to the school it always started out the same. “To whom it may concern…”
‘I don’t think I’ve ever been this hungry before’
–Me, every 45 minutes