@buhsbaby_baby: If you think my laughter is infectious, you should try having unprotected sex with me.
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@YourFavMexi_Can: "I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: If you say ‘poo freed’ instead of proofread, literally no one can tell the difference.
@amhw: Coffee: Because when you're groggy and barely coherent, the first thing you should do is handle a scalding hot cup of liquid.
@Michabean: Careful...I've already had our entire fight in my head and it doesn't end well for you.