@dumbbeezie: If you think you could never kill a person you just haven’t met the right one
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@BGH70: When bagging my groceries make sure to keep the radioactive bananas away from the mercury laden tuna. That's too much death in one bag.
@Dawn_M_: Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back.
@jlock17: If our children don't learn cursive, how will they ever be able to read those inspirational tattoos people put on their ribs?
@BrownDogBlanket: Just once, I’d love to see a post game interview where the losing team blames Satan.