If you think your life is bad, just think, at least you weren’t one of those hotel guests that showered, brushed their teeth and drank the water from the water tank that had a dead body in it.

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Welcome to twitter- Please stand by, someone will disagree with you shortly.


Become a parent to discover how angrily you can serve someone crackers.


It’s not a coincidence that so many blues songs start with “Woke up this morning…”


[sending smoke signals]







Him: why doesn’t anyone want me?

Me: I want you.

Him: why doesn’t anyone else want me?


Old Spice 14-in-1 body wash, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, moisturizer, toothpaste, super glue, mouth wash, shaving cream, caulk, aftershave, lube, energy drink, cream cheese


Canadians are not always nice, especially if your son pisses on their snowman.


Congratulations, FB friend looking forward to an anniversary dinner tonight with your “sweatie”