If you want to set up a company and run it then that’s your business.

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Tonight I’m going to be naughty and tie my man to the bed. Then I’ll make him watch a Golden Girls marathon while I eat the left over pizza.


AOL was hacked yesterday so watch out for spam email that looks like it came from 1995.


“This isn’t working out,” I insist to my girlfriend as we glide effortlessly downhill on her tandem bicycle.


I’ve been dressing all the chipmunks in my neighborhood up as lil miners but their tiny headlamps are making it too easy for owls to spot them this is a nightmare


One good thing about virtual school is that my 11yo and I get to actually spend special moments together that we normally wouldn’t have time for like when I sat down next to him with my coffee and he said, “ew could you move that smell is literally making me wanna puke”.


My husband: It’d be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner.
Me: ooo!! Can we get one?


Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her’s and copy exactly what she wrote.


I find that making meetings take less than 15 minutes and making sex last longer than 15 minutes elicit very similar responses