@thespacewad: If your parents say, "You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up", remind them that they'll have to die for you to be Batman.
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@MelvinofYork: She said "you're dead to me" but I suspect she's planning to make me dead to everyone else as well
@patcasey72: Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
@JediGigi: I just tried to start my car with my phone. You should know that my car has a keyless ignition. I'm pretty.