@AndrewChamings

If you’re forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you’ve got another Thing coming.

If you’re forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you’ve got another Thing coming.

- @AndrewChamings

You Might Also Like

@215potter

If the human race has a “signature move,” its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.

@blade_funner

The houseplant died inside, so I threw it out, and now it’s growing in the driveway just to spite me.

@twink_mufc

There is a lady who just asked me if Arsenal is a series! I asked her why?She told me that all Arsenal fans usually wait for the next season

@gazg74

I’d totally shake what my momma gave me but abandonment issues aren’t really a tangible physical manifestation…..

@marknorm

When you’re a kid and you have an accident you pee your pants. When you’re an adult and you have an accident you have a kid.

@primawesome

Dating is just deciding if you like a person more than being lonely, then choosing wrong.

@daemonic3

“Open your gift”

A ‘non-stick’ frying pan?

“You don’t like it?”

Non-stick? [smashes rest of gifts] YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE STICKS BRENDA