@gorrdano: If you're going to attack me in an @, you better be prepared to give me like three hours or so to think of a good comeback.
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@AlexvanBeek: A spider so big you politely ask it to leave the premises & then sheepishly accept its refusal with all the dignity of a French surrender.
@GinRumMe: History: delete Pics: delete Texts: delete Kik: delete "Why yes, you can use my phone for a second."
@THEDUTHCHESS: My ex husbands Voicemail was a trick one where he'd say "Hello Hello, so you think he'd answered and that's why he's dead.
@mynameisntdave: People who carry their dogs around, You know they can walk, right? Theyre real good at it. It's like one of the top known things about dogs