@Jubafisher: If you're having a rough day, remember there are people out there with their ex's names tattooed on them.
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@aaronfredericks: WIFE: I'm leaving you ME: oh no what happened? WIFE: you don't pay attention to me anymore ME: this is awful I've been working so hard at this WIFE: it doesn't feel like you- ME: it must not have saved! WIFE: ME: *pauses video game* I'm sorry what were you saying?
@Ray_stephan: A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
@squirrel74wkgn: Friend: How many girls did you date before you met your wife? Me: That was so long ago. Who really rememb- Wife: Thirty-seven