@Jarhead44: If you're not following me and received this tweet, it's because someone is smarter than you.
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@The_Mentalyst: *Meanwhile at a restaurant* Waiter: Welcome sir, would you like a table? Me: So kind of you, I wouldn't mind. *Picks table and walks out*
@ShesARealGenius: ME: Brad's here HUSBAND: Brad who needs space or Brad who's paranoid about being murdered? BRAD: OMG u 2 are smothering me ME: I've no idea
@stargazer15_: I'm the kind of girl that will suck helium from a balloon and talk dirty to you in a Minnie Mouse voice. Really dirty.
@ozzyunc: "As a creative person I'm often asked where I get my ideas." Yeah. As a creative person you often imagine people doing that but they don't.