@FilthyRichmond: If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup then why does it come with a little plastic shot glass?
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@GrillinChillin9: Want to feel old? Have a kid ask you why it's called "rolling down the car window" when all you do is press a button.
@Sickayduh: "Ma'am, you had twins. They are fine and your boyfriend Chad named them" - Oh no "This is Debra" - aww I like that "And this is Depanties"
@PJTLynch: By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn't yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
@UncleDuke1969: [Heaven] Me: What happened? God: You were sending a DM & got hit by a bus. Me: I only have one ques- God: Sorry, man. She was totes a dude.