your word is ‘hors d’oeuvre’
“can you use it in a sentence?”
yes…’I bet this kid can’t spell hors d’oeuvre’
If you’re responsible for the fruit tray, then your family has zero faith in your culinary skills
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I wish when someone called me my phone had an “Accept”, “Decline” and “Send Electric Shock” option.
Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service?
Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault
Abe Lincoln: write this down
Abe Lincoln: fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth…okay read it back
Mary: this down
5-year-old: Why does she keep cleaning the floors?
Me: Her stepsisters make her.
5: She should just buy a Roomba.
GF: Oh god it’s a bear!
Me: *Stuffs socks down front of pants*
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Making myself look big
Bear: Well hi
I’ve set my hair on fire lighting a cigarette before, so I’m always impressed when the movie-hero walks away from an explosion unharmed.
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
Be careful of what you say online because future employers might see it and will probably want to start hanging out with you
*driving to the store*Lemons, lemons
*inside the store* Lemons, Lemons
wife:Did you get the apples?
*drives back to the store*