I was bored.
If you’re the kinda person that gets antsy when people stand on an escalator instead of walking, try a blood curdling scream, they’ll move.
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I reached down to adjust my left bra cup this morning, lost my grip, and punched myself in the chin.
I have no witty tweets puh rum pum pum pum.
The worst case scenario, or as I like to call it, the thing guaranteed to happen.
I’m always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones
I made some new masks. Who wants one?
You’re like a semicolon. I’m not sure exactly what to do with you.
[god inventing cows]
angels: *nodding* cheese
ALADDIN: *pulls up google earth*
JASMINE: this is not what I had in mind
While I was out walking the dog, I noticed a neighbour waving at me through their living room window. How nice!
So I waved back rather enthusiastically.
She was washing her window.