I’m not afraid to admit that I’m not the sharpest elevator in the sea.
[IKEA meatball recipe]
1/2 lb ground beef
1/2 cup cream
1 small onion finely chopped
4 allen wrenches
20 minute argument
2 tbsp butter
lingonberry or some shit
you’re doing it wrong
salt to taste
just let me do it
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That awkward moment when you lazily follow someone cos of 1 funny joke, then realize all the rest of their stuff is KKK recruitment material
if I’m wearing a suit you better be dead or getting married
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WebMD’s slogan should be “It could be nothing.. but its probably cancer.”
you ever think about how “welp” is just the modern English version of “alas”
Any time someone says “have you seen that YouTube video?” I always say yes……… Cause otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
her : where do you see yourself in next 10 years?
me : at our daughter’s piano recital
Because a fish decided to walk on land years ago, I am now forced to pay taxes and wear pants in public.