@MarkAFuqua_Hunt

I’ll always be here for you….
Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there.
Then I’ll be over there for you.

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@_xLNc

My father once told me, “Son, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it’s something your father told you.”

@HallpassCanada

You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.

@stevevsninjas

Any weekend is a Vampire Weekend if you can’t look at yourself in the mirror afterwards.

@_SetTheHook_

Sorry, I can’t make it. Can’t find my “goin out” sweatpants.

@RadWizzy

My octopus can beat up your octopus.

*octopus flicks cig*
*octopus flicks cig*
*octopus flicks cig*
*octopus flicks cig*
*octopus flicks cig*
*octopus flicks cig*
*octopus flicks cig*
*octopus flicks cig*

“Lets do this.”

@Blondiethegood

I just threw away all the toilet paper in the office so this day is about to get interesting.

@JermHimselfish

I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says “Text Me”

@towelforacape

I say ‘tomato’, you say ‘put your hands where I can see them and exit the vehicle slowly’ .