@BuckyIsotope: I'll always remember what my dad told me right before he died: "of course you're supposed to use that much lighter fluid idiot."
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@corysnearowski: My wife is upset we can't afford a vacation this year because I kept paying the kids to behave while I was driving
@girlontapas: You know when you buy a bag of salad and it starts getting brown and has gross water in it... Doughnuts never do that.
@WorldofWid: Be advised Ladies: Once I show you my Knight Rider lunchbox from 1985, foreplay has officially begun.