@Shot_Of_Cabo: I'll never call a radio station because I'm afraid they'll give me tickets to go somewhere and do something.
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@UncleDuke1969: HER: Talk dirty to me. ME: I don't want to. HER: C'mon. ME: No, I'm bad at it. HER: I'm sure you're not. ME: I really am. HER: Just try. ME: *whispers in her ear* HER: Yeah, never do that again.
@ShesARealGenius: [Snail Court] Snail Lawyer: Permission to approach the bench, Your Honor? Snail Judge: I'm sorry; we don't have that kind of time.
@JohnLyonTweets: Santa Claus: I bring presents to children around the world. Easter Bunny: I bring children baskets of candy. Tooth Fairy: I collect human teeth. *others back away*