Okay, I’ll bite, what is “the Beatles”
i’ll never forget what mom said when dad told her he thinks we’re growing up too fast
“they’re in there daring each other to eat dog food”
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UNCLE: Officers weren’t even safe from their own men in Vietnam.
ME: I’ve just decided it’s too hard to zoom in on any more dogs’ noses.
COUPLE: *rides off into the sunset*
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: nope
A friend sent me this and now I can’t think of anything else
Want to feel old? Have a kid ask you why it’s called “rolling down the car window” when all you do is press a button.
He called me an angel but I’m pretty sure he meant angle because I’m always right.
Me: “was it because-”
P: “YES it was because you said “oh lawd she comin” when you climaxed”
God grant me the patience to accept the people whose outfits I cannot change.
*wakes up in cold sweat*
SHOULDN’T ELEVATORS BE CALLED SOMETHING ELSE ON THE WAY DOWN?
If I’m guilty of anything, it’s loving TOO much. And several felonies in 3 different states. But mostly loving too much.