I’m 14 shows into the 1st season of ‘Lost’ & there are SO many mysteries.
I sure hope someone finds out where Sawyer plugs in his flat iron

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Rachel Ray now makes cat food with real beef just like the cows my cat would eat in the wild.


Small children who dress as Batman must be forced to fight crime. To teach them a lesson, about lying


“I’m going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there’s six.”


Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially.


Where do avocados come from? Uh, well, when a crocodile loves a pear very much…


According to my cholesterol level I’m a pizza.


My mum has asked for ‘bath stuff’ for Christmas so I’ve bought her a toaster.


Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll.


ME: argh the salty air be getting to me head just hand over the treasure ya scurvy knave

LONG JOHN SILVERS CASHIER: *rolls eyes* *gives me my change*


If you balance your medication correctly you can blank out an entire morning meeting.