I get why she built the pillow wall in our bed…but the barbed wire seemed a bit extreme.
“I’m a hoarse whisperer…”
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Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a “judgment free” zone…unless we’re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
[getting brutally stabbed] hey wait, you have an eyelash *gently removes it* make a wish
[inventing the turtle] put the worst dinosaur in an army helmet
I play Nickelback real loud all day so crickets can listen to something annoying when they try to sleep
Either I just saw a bat in the garden or the mice are using hand-gliders to avoid our cat.
[2 dogs eating dinner]
“u know Sharon, that life insurance policy u found me is great”
“why does this taste like chocolate”
Any leftover cabbage can and will be shredded and mixed with mayo
– Cole’s Law
Me: *showing the priest a gif of a dog chasing his tail* Haha it’s like he never stops
Priest: Ok but I said “Bring the GIFTS to the alter”
Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He’d be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you’ll have the element of surprise.