This never gets old
I’m a pediatrician.
Oh, so you’re into feet?
Isn’t that illegal?
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GPS: turn left onto High Street
Husband: no thanks, I know a longer way.
barbecue implies the existence of a carolecue and possibly a debecue
Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake their soda
Sees apostrophe after noun
If she says “well you’re too busy to chat so have a good day”
..what she means is she hopes it’s a good day for your hair to catch on fire.
me, as a child: *walks into the kitchen covered in my own blood holding a rabbit I fought from a hawk*
my mom, on the phone: *mouthing* I’m on the phone
I say “Have a good one” instead of “Have a nice day” because I’m so mysterious. One what? You just don’t know!
When I’m at a restaurant and see ‘secret sauce’ on the menu, I immediately tell the people at the table next to me