@beefman138: I'm a Twitter guy who is married to a Facebook girl, so I don't understand how people of differing religions can't get along.
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were you on the night of the 5th?" "Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."
@hazelmotes1: Ladies, you should know that if I invite you to a movie I'm only after one thing: someone with a big purse I can store all my snacks in.
@CuppleOthoughts: Biden: We need theme music when we walk into a room Obama: Joe be professional Biden: STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON, CRAZY MOTHER- #BidenMemes