@reczit: I'm afraid of people who keep smiling all the time. I feel like they still have plenty of space left for more bodies in their basement.
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@_coryrichardson: me: [trying to impress date] i have a PHD... a pretty huge d- her: Don't say it, im leaving [later] me: *feeding my enormous dolphin* sorry buddy, i guess she doesn't like dolphins
@hipchkk: Apparently, some parents are not appreciative of a sweet super supportive air horn during a children's piano recital.
@Angibangie: Me: I like a full bodied wine. Date: I'm not that knowledgeable about wine. Me: It's like, when the grapes were really thicc.
@drinksmcgee: 8: What's a VCR? Me: It played video tapes. 8: Video Tapes? M: Like cassettes. 8: Cassettes? M: Like an older CD. 8: CD? M: *pours bourbon