@DevilryFun

I’m an introvert, but my middle finger is an extrovert.

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@KeetPotato

“we lost your dad during surgery im very sorry”
ha, hes always wandering off
“no he..”
*holds up one finger while on phone*
dad ring me back

@Scriblit

Incredible news from my son’s school as he informs me he knows a 5 year old named Alan.

@MyNameIsArchaic

“YEP, that’s a poop alright!”, and other phrases you’d prefer not to hear coming from the 3 year old’s room.

@PFitzpa

So, I bought the Cucumber Mint lip balm from Burt’s Bees. I kinda love it and hate it too. What? Oh, yeah I want to report a murder.

@WheelTod

‘Triskaidekaphobia’ is the word for an irrational fear of the number 13.

But why does Big Dictionary have no word for if the fear is rational? Like, maybe the number 13 killed your family, or cut your brake lines.

Stay woke, friends.

@hipstermermaid

“The Shining” is my favorite documentary about what happens when you don’t have an Internet connection.