@GoldenSpirals: I'm at my sexiest when I try to run in flip flops in the rain.
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@Mirimade: Marriage 1st Year. Husband: Hey, beautiful, I’ve got candles lit and sexy music, ready for a night of romance? Me: *blushes* Marriage 6th Year: Husband: The kids are asleep, wanna have sex real quick? Me: I literally just poured the milk on my cereal.
@abbycohenwl: Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, "I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"
@davidbfunny: Dear waiter, You messed up my order because you didn't write it down. I employed your strategy while calculating the tip. Love, David