@sbellelauren: i'm awake! please respect my privacy during this very difficult time
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@megancollins: Could reporters stop asking if political leaders "believe" in climate change and start asking if they understand it instead
@Impetermoran: Crazy how Jeff Bezos could’ve ended world hunger but instead he chose to cheat on his wife, which cost even more
@thepunningman: "How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?" 384 my liege "Ok, round them up" 400 my liege
@seandunn76: "Oh boy, what a day of having sex with real women," I yell too loud while passing my microwave.