@treydayway

I’m from a generation that wouldn’t dare tell an adult that we were bored.

I’m from a generation that wouldn’t dare tell an adult that we were bored.

- @treydayway

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@Kauaibride

settle down twitter crush. i didn’t ask your last name to google you. i wanted to see how it sounded with the names i’ve picked for our kids

@Dorkstar

I appreciate people venturing into entrepreneurship but is it really necessary to call yourself CEO when your firm is total of 3 people?

@iliezabeth

CAT: mew
ME: indeed, u are correct kitty
CAT: mew
ME: well said, kitty, well said

FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok…? Emotionally?

@chrisrockoz

You only live once, so don’t forget to spend 15 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers.

@mommywhitfield

*Shaking Magic 8 Ball*
“Will I ever not feel tired again?”
*Magic 8 Ball erupts in hysterical laughter*

@Furry_Beaver

Cashier: Will that be all?
Me: No. I’m getting everything like an easter egg hunt, I just wanted to show you what I’ve got so far.

@illuminateddino

A lady told me she was a widow and I accidentally said ÔÇťcongratulations.ÔÇŁ

@AlexvanBeek

I would’ve thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited ’til it was dark instead.