@Verity_Holloway: I'm getting old. I'm watching a horror film about a house with a hidden cellar that wasn't on the deeds, and all I can think is how much value that would add.
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@TheMichaelRock: Her: ID please Me: for? Her: alcohol Me: my beard is almost white Her: still need it Me*whispers* I know why you work at a gas station
@AudreyPorne: my friend said she won't hang out with me anymore because I described a pigeon we saw at the park as "thicc"