@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.
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@ojedge: Che: "Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?" Me: [picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle] "Independence."
@shkeeber: Dude, why did you buy Grand Theft Auto 5? I mean, honestly, you live in Detroit. You could've just gone outside and saved yourself $50.