@2tickytacky: "I'm going to lay right here in the doorway and give people a dumb look as they trip over me."- Damned dog.... Could've been me though.
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@MTV2GuyCodes: Oh, some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?
@Tmoney68: *Tries new coffee with 300% more caffeine* "It's okay. Can't feel a difference." [5 minutes later] *Throws refrigerator out window*
@AmishPornStar1: *aliens land in America* Alien Captain: Take me to your leader! Me: *heavy sigh* Listen, Bro...this is kind of embarrassing, but...
@ThugRaccoons: *gets abducted by aliens* *immediately asks aliens if they’re familiar with the benefits of essential oils* *gets returned by aliens*