@SardonicTart: I'm going to start eating healthy again so I need to eat this half of a leftover cake to get it out of the house.
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@bobvulfov: DONALD TRUMP (45 minutes into watching wall-e): this film is not what i hoped it would be
@ShortSleeveSuit: Guy: Which way is left? Me: *points to the right* Guy: What is a horn for? Me: Jazz Guy: Where does gasoline go? Me: *points to my tummy* Guy: Excellent *approves my state-issued driver’s license*