@Molly_Kats

I’m in line behind a lady with 100 coupons so come visit me in jail, OK?

You Might Also Like

@braag_

hello vegans, if PIGS are so SMART why do 66% of them build houses with INEFFECTIVE, STUPID materials

@Fred_Delicious

Bruce Willis angrily returns a cheese grater to the store, “IT DID NOT MAKE THE CHEESE GREATER! IT JUST MADE LOTS OF LITTLE CHEESE” he fumes

@DanMentos

*arrives in hell*
*Hey Ya starts playing*
haha nice love this song
*song ends*

*Hey Ya starts playing*
wait no

@notmythirdrodeo

Husband: Are we ordering out for lunch or eating here?

Me: I was just going to have something frozen here.

Daughter, from the other room: I WANT SOMETHING FROZEN 2.

@behindyourback

Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.

@radtoria

*eats hotdog like an ear of corn to avoid giving you mixed signals*

@Dawn_M_

How much longer must I pretend to understand the eclipse, this is exhausting.