@ObscureGent: I’m in quicksand and then I realize it’s actually oatmeal. I start to eat my way out until I realize there’s no sugar, cinnamon or walnuts. Disgusted, I stop eating and let death embrace me.
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@NyAdas: Today I learned the hard way if you over-pluck your eyebrows everyone thinks you're interested in what they are saying
@Cajun_Ninja: Met this nice girl at the mall today. Her name was No. and coincidentally her number was also No.
@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: I'm far less concerned with who let it out, and more curious as to why the cat was in the bag in the first place?