@donni: "I'm in the best shape of my life!" -Newborn baby
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@annetdonahue: TEEN 1: Church is so boring. TEEN 2: It's so out of touch. THE YOUNG POPE approaches pulpit: "Some...BODY once told me--" TEENS: HOLY SHIT
@Westoff123: I'm going to buy a house near the St. Louis Airport and paint "Welcome to chicago" on my roof to confuse people who are about to land.
@BonaFideIntent: Where's the gratification in tearing down another human being? It's much easier to have heart, than walk w a self-inserted rod up your ASS.
@MeepisMurder: in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on