@AndreyasAsylum: I'm my own family, I say as I plow through the family-size bag of barbecue chips.
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@ObscureGent: [Crazed robot bursts into my room and sees my Rage Against the Machine poster] Me: IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!
@bobvulfov: BABY FROZEN STEAK: mommy is he coming back MOM STEAK: no honey—get some sleep [rocky walks into the freezer] ROCKY: time to punch some meats
@duplicitron: Someone left a really nice couch out on the street so I went home and got a lamp and TV and this is where I live now.