I’m not a mechanic so I don’t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.

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do u think karl marx was a marxist bc of his last name or was it just a coincidence


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-My best pickup line


Do people really expect to have a satisfying experience on a website that ends with “.gov”?


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When I tell my wife I’m gonna have to work late she knows it’s code for I was playing with super glue and I’m stuck to my desk again.