The reason Latin is a dead language is because they kept accidentally summoning demons during regular conversations
I’m not a mechanic so I don’t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
You Might Also Like
I’m pregnant, during the holidays, during a never-ending pandemic. The next medical professional who makes me step on the scale better be prepared with some tissues and a sugar free lollipop to cheer me up.
do u think karl marx was a marxist bc of his last name or was it just a coincidence
“I got you, babe.”
Jealous that secret agents can get out of any phone conversation at any time by saying “it’s not safe to talk on the phone right now”
The last time my heart beat this fast I was at my boyfriend’s parent’s house and the toilet water was rising…
-My best pickup line
Do people really expect to have a satisfying experience on a website that ends with “.gov”?
It’s not a real relationship, until you’ve apologized to a locked bathroom door.
only baby boomers will get this:
When I tell my wife I’m gonna have to work late she knows it’s code for I was playing with super glue and I’m stuck to my desk again.