@mynameisntdave: "Excuse me waiter, can I have a fork?"
"Is Pepsi okay?"
@I_am_Lukem: Get your hero name by doing something brave and seeing what the newspapers call you.
I'm Local Man.
@food_shoes_life: Everyone say hi to the lady reading my phone over my shoulder.
@PleaseBeGneiss: [heaven]
ME: so about those footprints...
GOD: footprints?
ME: from when you carried me
GOD: wasn’t me
ME: well then who—
GOD: *shivers* that’s some spooky shit
@EricGoldie: Crocs are suicide notes you can wear.
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