@NikiWithIssues: I'm not hungover. I just like to wear my sunglasses when I open the fridge door. It makes me look cool.
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@mrjohndarby: me: i need to talk to someone about making some changes to my nose plastic surgeon: ok i'm all ears me: I need to speak to someone else then
@daddydoubts: God: Come see this. Angel: What is it? God: It’s the human lifespan. Angel: Wow their development is incredible. They start off so small and cute. Then get so strong and smart! God: Fun right? Watch this. Angel: Oh my you! What’s wrong with them? God: I call it, 35.
@gwatts77: Just ordered a pizza from Papa Johns online ordering system & it asked me if I had any instructions for the driver. Yes, "Bring weed, bro"