@Donna_McCoy: I'm not leaving a will. My final act will be giving my family one more thing to fight about.
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@TheBoydP: Everyone knows there’s no such thing as a zombie army. The proper name is the Marine Corpse.
@ShawnIzadi: Walked into the bathroom and it sounded like someone was powerlifting in one of the stalls. That, or an exorcism.
@Dahmerscookpot: Things that don't kill bees 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
@2tickytacky: Got my inhaler mixed up with my psychedelic frog and went on one hell of a wheezy ride.