@KattsDogma: I'm not poor. I'm big-loaned.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Date: I'm excited to taste your cooking. When will it be ready? Me: In a minute I'll have to peel back the plastic, stir and re-cover.
@longwall26: Pregnancy is so weird. It's, like, "Who's that in my belly? It's Brad. He's going to drive a used Buick one day."
@TheMichaelRock: It’s funny how people rage in traffic on the way to work like they’ll be any happier once they get there.