At 14 I yelled, “You’ll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!” and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over.
I’m not saying I’ve got a girl crush on you, I’m just saying lesbiadorable together.
You Might Also Like
In Canada, a drive by shooting is just a guy using finger guns while winking at a chick he has no chance with.
[driving date home]
me: where do I drop you off?
her: here is fine
me: you live on the beach?
her: *walks into sea*
in college, i was the third-wheel so many times they called me The Tricycle
Panicked when I saw “Godzilla” was trending, until I found out there’s a movie.
NO…I don’t “make plans” because plans suggest INTENT…
…which is typically the distinction between second & first degree convictions.
Nothing good ever comes after: “I’m not trying to be creepy, but…”
Me: ’til death do us part
Her: ’til death do us part
Death: *cracks open beer* Imma watch them suffer a while
You’re like a first job.
No one likes you but at least you’re a learning experience.
us women should leave something 2 the imagination. for example it should always be unclear whether ur human or a mysterious glowing vapour