Think I’ll pass.
I’m not trying to seduce you, I’m just very bad at eating
You Might Also Like
Date: “You’re very tall! Do you play basketball?”
Me: “You’re very fat. Are you a sumo wrestler?”
[describing criminal to sketch artist]
he had the eyes of a man who just dropped his ice cream
If you are interested in me, now is the time to shoot your shot. My standards are incredibly low.
*Pauses Titanic during the most romantic part*
*Turns to GF*
“You know, Contra was really easy. But I still liked using the 100 life code”
Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop.
I have standards. They might be low, but still…..
I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me, but has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.
My husband is suddenly showering everyday, so I assume he’s having an affair
I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.